A natural inquiry

The problem in defining an experience with nature is my inability to define the relationship between each element in this universe that

begs the title "nature." Sure I'm able to label things I see as 'natural' but I fail to visualize the congenital hierarchy which seems to govern 

everything i may or may not perceive. What is the correspondence between human nature and environmental nature?

It's easy to say that the only truth I can believe is that which I've experienced, but when I see no order to that which I've experienced,

it's time to look big picture.

"A single thing is only so far beautiful as it suggests the universal grace. "Nature is that which inspires one to look beyond; to look around

and recognize that there's something larger going on than this world. The reason we find it entrancing, beautiful, and mysterious, is because

that which it reflects is so.

Emerson says that "each moment of the year has its own beauty, and in the same field it beholds, every hour, a picture that has never been

seen before and which will never be seen again." This is why exploring nature, having a unique encounter with the natural world, is

is so exciting to us: its a unique encounter with the astounding beauty and ultimate majesty of the one who created. THIS is why those moments

of experiencing the beauty of nature forces us to think clearly, to think larger, to suddenly have our priorities straight. This is why one can examine 

the most miniscule of natural commodities and marvel at its intricacies for hours. This is bigger than us, and it's in everything.

We can experience it on a daily basis, and in in least likely situations. When searched for, it will present itself (he is where Emerson and I disagree)

and in the most curious ways immaginable.

An experience of nature, in my opinion, is completely unique to the person themself. Of course its different; clearly were all different people.

Each moment is a special gift in which we have the ability to encounter, and should be honored lest it be taken for granted.

How better to know the creator than to admire and experience his handiwork?

Anne Frank sums it up:

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.

friendship revisited

It remained there like a festering sore covered by an infinite amount of barbie bandaids. 

I was still mad.

My Emersonian experience was not so much a day, but a test case. A kind of W.W.E.D.-in-this-situation, and one situation in particular. 

I kept up the menial small-talk  and occasional get-togethers in sheer concession that she would, in fact, never fully comprehend the origin of my frustration. I left it alone, because I believed that brilliant someone who said "everything heals with time." 

Maybe I was being melodramatic. Probably.

But in retrospect, it was worth it, for what was revealed to me when I objectively compared my actions to the words of Emerson, made quite a difference:  It was not her problem at all. 

Why did I expect her to complete me? I still held the her actions against her, and even more so, passed judgement on her character because I wanted a different outcome.

In reality, I was unfulfilled with what my own actions. I couldn't let go of the fact I had fallen short, and therefore prosecuted her for my unhappiness.  

The definitive paradox of friendship is that you must be an self-contented individual before you can be part of  collaborating duo. The failure to do so results in co-dependence, unfulfillment, and ultimately, as in my case,  disappointment. 

It is so like human nature to compel us to seek another to supplement our short- comings. It's also the easiest thing to do. There's a fine line between complementary and reliance, but a grand divulgence in ultimate outcome.

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." Though this might entail kindness, forgiveness and compassion (three thing I could use in my situation), it also requires a certain degree of self-content. No, this doesn't mean you have to have it all together or stand to gain nothing from a friendship. It's the simple recognition from time to time, that 'I can't look to others as a source of my self-image, happiness, or fulfillment.'

As I realized this (among other things) and reflected upon my situation, I am still greeted with the same reservations, but a severely less degree of bitterness. I recognize that she could've been handled her part better, but that's living, and I now consciously afford her the amnesty I, so many times a day require. 

"Be not a slave to your own past." I refuse to hold myself and her in shackles to a past situation. It's not fair, nor decent, nor in any circumstance friendship-like. To be a friend is an evolving lesson, and I am content that Emerson got right: All life is truly an experience.